Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
