Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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