He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
