why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
