You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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