It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
