I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
