remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
