Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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