it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
