"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
