My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
