Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
