So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
