enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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