yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
