i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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