Small penises have feelings too.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
