I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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