That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
