You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Houston, we have a blender
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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