Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
