im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
