I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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