sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Randomize
