i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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