No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Bring me that man meat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
