wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
