Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
