The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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