so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
