the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
