she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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