I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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