I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
