i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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