i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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