Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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