fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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