Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
