she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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