I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Four minutes until I can fart!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
