I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
