He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
