too bad you live with your parents still
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
