Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
