I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
