Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
