I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
