Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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